Sir SugarHigh
by crusnik O2
Summary: When Seras accidentally puts too much Sugar in Integra’s Tea, Walter is on vacation. Alucard gets mad and than hyper. And Integra just gets hyper...Major OOCnesseses…and ya… That sums it up… Major twist at end…


Summary-When Seras accidentally puts too much Sugar in Integra's Tea, Walter is on vacation

Summary-When Seras accidentally puts too much Sugar in Integra's Tea, Walter is on vacation. Alucard gets mad and than hyper. And Integra just gets hyper...Major OOCnesseses…and ya… That sums it up… Major twist at end…

Disclaimer- I do not own Hellsing…blah blah blah blah, though I am a resident at the mental institution…and such I have the rights to THINK I own it… cause no one would believe me anyway!

Warning- Telling you that I'm in a mental institution should be enough of a warning…

(Which btw, I'm not… I just sort of… think I belong there….) on with the story!

* * *

**_Sir. SugarHigh_**

Seras was panicking. _I've done it now…_ she thought to herself as she picked up the sugar can that had slipped from her hands only moments before, effectively empting into the Tea cup that sat on the counter. _Why did Walter have to go on vacation??_

_What are you doing Police Girl!?_ Her masters voice boomed inside her head causing her to yet again drop the container onto the floor and watched helplessly as it rolled away and her master appeared before her looking hysterical, "Are you nuts!? Completely insane!? S-she'll get …hyper…"

"Seras! Bring me my tea, RIGHT NOW!" Integra's voice boomed throughout the manor as Alucard started to whimper and stalk around the room pulling out his hair.

"What are we going to do!? We can't give her THAT, you contaminated it! ACK! Seras! Where did you go!?" Alucard frantically started searching for Seras and fazed into Integra's office just in time to see Integra take a sip of the 'sugar-tea.'

"This is delicious Seras! What did you put in it?" Integra Asked as she heard a series of 'thumps' beside her, she turned her head to see her Pet laying on the floor banging his head repeatedly on the polished oak, "Alucard, what the fuck are you doing?"

"Seras…idiot…master…going…to…. get…nononononononono, cant let that happen! Waaaahhhhhhh!!" All of the sudden he jumped up and ran over to his master, "Master… umm… Ouch my head hurts… oh right… Master, how are you feeling?? Angry, Hyper, happy...Hyper…?? like maybe you want to throw that ashtray at my head??…Again?"

"Seras, Did you give him Sugar by any chance?"

"No, Sir."

"Master! Don't drink that!" Alucard snatched the tea from Integra's hand after she took another sip, "Ack!"

"Alucard! What is the meaning of this!?" Integra slammed her fists down and stood up as Alucard downed the whole cup of tea so she couldn't drink anymore of it. Integra threw the ashtray at his head.

THUNK!

"Owie…"

**Silence**

Integra slowly sat back down as she felt something inside of her go off that hadn't gone off since… well the time when she found the… sugar… "Seras… What was in that tea you gave me?"

Before she could answer Alucard screamed and she plugged her ears as Integra shot him a death glare.

"Master! What's wrong?"

"Hehe, Nothing! I just wanted to scream! Its so much fun! I'm going to do it again! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Integra's eye twitched as a grin slithered its way across her face and her eyes got an insane look to them, "Umm… Master… Sir… are you guys… alright??" Seras asked as she slowly backed up to where she hopped the door was.

Integra was the first to reply as she got up out of her desk, and started to help Alucard to his feet, with a hop to her step and a merry tone to her voice…one that Seras recognized as insanity, "Oh, us? Of coarse we are alright, aren't we Alucard?"

"Oh, yes! Yes indeed! We are VERY alright!" Insane Grin as head tilts slightly to the side at the same time Integra's does.

Seras gulped and ran for the door, opening it to find a very bewildered looking Pip, "Ack! Pip! Come with me! Hurry!" She grabbed his arm and dragged him down the hallways as fast as she could.

"C-chere! W-wait! What's going on? I heard screaming and AHH!! –SMACK- Ok… that hurt…" Pip struggled to get the words out as Seras turned a corner to sharp and sent him flying into the wall.

"Pip! Stop being a lazy-ass! Get up! They're coming!!" She dragged him to his feet and continued on her mad dash to 'safety.'

Alucard and Integra Laughed cheerfully as they skipped down the hallways holding hands. The creepy grins plastered on their faces the whole time.

"Hey, Alucard, where do you think she ran off to??" Integra asked in a child-like voice.

They stopped and Alucard sniffed the air, "Dat way!" he said pointing to a wall, "I mean dat way!" he said pointing behind him, "no wait… Dat way!" he said pointing to his feet.

Integra just kicked him as she looked for the stairs, "Dis way you idiot!" She ran down the stairs with Alucard following after her like an obedient sugar-high dog.

Seras and Pip where hiding in Alucard's room, but how they ended up there she didn't quite know… She heard a bang come from above them followed by two child-like voices arguing with each other about how one was an absolute idiot for falling down the stairs which resulted in the other one being called a Midget, which followed with more large bangs and 'owies.'

Pip gulped loudly as the voices drew closer.

"Not getting scared now are you?" Seras half-joked.

"N-no way!" he retorted trying his best not to look around Alucard's blood covered room.

"Ya… that's very convincing…"

"Shut u-" Pip started but was shushed by Seras as the voices started to talk again.

"I dink dey went dis way!"

"Dat my woom!"

"Duh!!"

"SSHHHH!! Dey might hear us!"

"You SHUSH! Hmpf. Jerk."

"Ow!! Dat urt!"

"Oh-Tay, me open da door, and you attack."

"Ho-Kay. 1…2…"

"Why you stop?"

"What comes after 2?"

"3!"

"Oh, oh-Kay! 1…2…3!"

Seras had grabbed pip and had hid inside Alucard's coffin while they where arguing. She put a hand over his mouth to stop any pervert-like-comments to come out because of the close proximity they where in.

"Where are dey?"

"You said dey would be here!"

"Dey are!"

"Where?"

"I donno… somewhere!"

It was silent for what felt like an hour as Pip held his breath, when the coffin lid opened up and Alucard exclaimed with excitement, "I found dem!"

"Where??" Integra rushed over and pushed Alucard to the ground to get a better look, "Ewww… dey doin grown-up stuffs!"

"Oh! Let me see!"

"Pervert!" She pushed him back down.

"But its MY coffin!" protested Alucard, "My coffin… hey! Outta my coffin!"

Seras and Pip got out without protest but Alucard tackled Pip to the floor before he could even twitch.

"Master! No don't eat him!" Seras nearly screamed as Alucard extended his fangs and lowered his head to Pip's neck, "It's the Sugar! Fight it! Please don't kill him master!"

Integra, growing tired of her complaining tackled her to the ground and pulled out a gun loaded with silver bullets.

Alucard, about to bite down, and Integra, about too shoot, they both tried to hold in their laughter as Alucard whispered something into Pips ear.

At the same time Integra fired her gun and Seras eyes clenched shut awaiting the pain, but nothing came... She slowly opened her eyes as Integra burst out laughing along with Alucard.

Confused, she looked over at Pip who had passed out before Alucard could even whisper in his ear, she picked up the gun and noticed a little flag sticking out of the end of it, she read it and fainted.

Walter came back from his vacation to find the mansion empty, after awhile he went down to Alucard's room to find the scene before him, walking to the gun, he picked it up and read aloud what the tiny little flag had written on it in neat, elegant hand-writing which belonged to none other than Sir. Integra herself, "April fools…" He turned around to see Integra and Alucard rolling around on the floor… this strangely reminded him of a few years back on this very day… when Integra had had to much Sugar… he chuckled at the thought of seeing Integra high on sugar as he walked back upstairs to make some tea…

The End

An- XD tehe? This ended up nothing like I had originally intended it to, anyway, happy April fools day! This is dedicated to WinterShadow, cause she gave me the initial idea to make a fic where Integra gets Sugar-high. And just to let you know, I wrote this when I was dead tired in the middle of the night.. I know it's a little late but my brother hogs the computer… hope you enjoyed it! I can't wait to see what you thought of it… Please review, and tell me if you have an idea for me cause I really need some... Thankies!

_**Crusnik**_


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